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Dear Allah...

Dear Allah (ith), You may indeed be an expert on born losers, but we Jews are experts on being Chosen. On behalf of Cubs and Red Sox fans everywhere, therefore, I ask of you the same question that many of us have asked Adonai Elohim in our manifold times of distress: bq. "Isn't it about time you chose somebody else?" Like maybe the Yankees, for instance. Seriously, O Greatest and Most Radiant One, perhaps it is time you simply took the f---ing hint. Somehow, going after New York and the Jews always seems like a good idea at the time. Somehow, it always ends in naqba. Give it up, pull up a skybox seat in Dar-al-Harb Stadium, and turn the radiant face of your impeccable record on a franchise more deserving of the kind of support bestowed this year on teams under the favour of your divine countenance. Trust me when I say that this couldn't happen to a nicer guy. Marlins in 6.

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