An excerpt from your article for those too fat and lazy to read through the link:

"So let’s be clear. Over-the-counter potions don’t work. Prescription medicine barely works. Surgery, reserved only for the morbidly obese, won’t get you to a healthy weight. After your 15th diet book promising you can lose weight if you just eat more or less carbs, consume foods in the right combinations, or eat lots more chocolate (Seriously) you catch on that they don’t work either.

So what does? I’m sorry, but there has to be an element of discipline. Repeat after me: There is NO magic!

So after all that "analysis" in your article, that's your prescription, Dr. Fumento (may I call you "Doctor")?

You know, you've posted a few times here (attempts to distract everyone from the war on Democracy being waged by the Bush administration, no doubt), and I'm starting to see that you too suffer from an obsessive disorder as well.

You are a puffed-up fool who is so full of themselves that you cannot tolerate people who come to conclusions that you cannot yourself understand, and therefore must disbelieve. Especially those "Know-it All" scientists who think they're so damn smart and...well....right about everything!

You are Morbidly Stupid.

But Fear Not! I too am a doctor! And the prescription is simple! Unfortunatly, it will be invasive.

Submit yourself for a Cranial Liposuction Trreatment soon. If you come to NY, I can arrange one for you on Monday. Or better yet, I'll meet you in your office or home, so you can convalesce in peaceful and familiar surroundings.

It will work wonders for your affliction. You will be happy, complacent, and tolerant of your fellow man.

Just ask Howard Dully for a reference....

Maybe dog-whistle politics could solve this problem. Play a tape of the presidential debates and let George Bush call your dog. (Put your dog on a treadmill first so he doesn't smash his head through the television screen.) Let him trot along all day, burning off surplus poodle. It would help if your dog is named "Dred Scott" or "Abortion" or "Stay the Course".

This won't help with Jabba the Cat, though, unless there's such a thing as Cat Toy Politics.

I took my friends' dog to the park today. She ran around for over an hour chasing a ball, and I ran around after her. No chance she's going to get fat if she keeps this pace up - she eats plenty and is perfectly healthy. Who knows, I might lose some weight this way too!

A better way to phrase the diagnosis, I think, is that we are lacking in what the Ancient Greeks valued among the highest virtues:

Sophrosyne (σοφροσύνη) is a Greek philosophical term etymologically meaning 'moral sanity' and from there 'self control' or 'moderation'.

Greeks upheld the ideal of sophrosyne, which means wisdom and moderation but ultimately its complex meaning, so important to the Ancients, is very difficult to convey in English. It is perhaps best expressed by the two most famous sayings of the oracle at Delphi: "Nothing in excess", and "Know thyself".

The term suggests a happiness obtained when one's philosophical needs are satisfied, resembling the idea of enlightenment through harmonious living. It is a nearly lost Classical ideal, but enjoying some revival today with its emphasis on individuals to live within the proportions of reason and nature, this being achieved through wisdom and self knowledge.

The word is found in the writings of Ancient Greece, especially that of Plato in ethical discussions of the dialogue Charmides where it refers to the avoidance of excess in daily life. This term in Plato's use is connected with the Pythagorean idea of harmonia.