Lynchings in Congo as penis theft panic hits capital:
"Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft."
The arrests were actually smart, since they gets the "sorcerers" off the streets and away from the mobs. A decade ago, people were killed in Ghana over this sort of nonsense. I love the police chief's take. Jean-Dieudonne Oleko:
"I'm tempted to say it's one huge joke... But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. To that I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it'?"
No doubt, when our fearless investigators get to the bottom of it all, they'll find that the whole thing was financed by those Nigerian enlargement spammers. Meanwhile, chalk this up as something to contemplate next time you want to say that a group of humans couldn't possibly do something, because it would be too stupid.
Anyone else see the similarity between this story and the NRA hysteria about "gun-grabbers"?
"Anyone else see the similarity between this story and the NRA hysteria about "gun-grabbers"?"
Yeah, but what would that make the Brady Campaign?
In favor of scholastic gender segregation? "Get guns out of schools"
Sign on the doorway to the Senate? "Federal Law prohibits carrying guns on Federal Property"
NOW chapter meeting? "This is a gun free zone."
George Michael? "From my cold dead hands!"
Toliet training or contraception? "Gun control advocate"
Fat person at a nudist camp? "Concealed carry permit"
No.
This strange vision has been granted to you alone, it seems. You are blessed, or bewitched.
Sometimes a gun is just a gun, mein freund.
celebrim, you're making me kinda worry here...<g>...
A.L.
No, unless the alleged sorcerers had set up lobbying groups to ban penises, or to restrict ownership based on, um, the effectiveness and power of the instrument in question. Did they manage to get entire cities declared a "No Penis Zone"?
I had a liberal sorcerer cast a spell on my SPAS-12, and now all I've got is a lousy .38....
There's an apocryphal story about Gen George Patton: at some point, he was asked what to do with a shipload of rubber tubing that didn't meet specifications. Send the load back to the US? "Hell, no," said the General. "Cut it up in 12" lengths, put the pieces in boxes marked 'Condoms, size Medium' and give 'em to the Russians."
While this is funny, it's also tragic, and not just for the immediate victims. It's part of the wreck of traditional African religions.