This one from Jack Wheeler's To the Point was too good not to share.
A Scotsman, an Englishman, and an Irishman meet in a bar while traveling.
"Y'know" said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there's a wonderful little bar called McTavish's. The landlord there goes out of his way for the locals, so much that when you buy 4 drinks he'll buy the 5th drink for you."
"Well," said the Englishman, "at my local, the Red Lion, the barman there will buy your 3rd drink after you buy the first 2."
"Ahhhhh, that's nothing, laddies," said the Irishman.
"Back home in me own Dublin, there's Ryan's Bar. Now, the moment you set foot in the place they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like. Then, when, when you've had enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see that you get laid All on the house."
The Englishman and Scotsman immediately scorn the Irishman's claims. But he swears every word is true.
"Well," said the Englishman, "did this actually happen to you?"
"Not to me meself, personally, no," said the Irishman... "but it did happen to me sister."
Sharia law has come to Britain, and an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are sentenced to 100 lashes for drinking alcohol.
The Englishman is first, and they ask him if he would like anything on his back. "Linseed oil," he says. They give him 100 lashes and he crawls away.
The Scotsman is next, and when they ask him what he wants on his back he spits, "Nothing!" He takes 100 lashes and walks away.
The Irishman is last. They ask him what he wants on his back, and he says, "I'll take the Englishman."
And it's Wishard for the win!
Old, but still very good. Bonus points for updating it to a modern context.