You know Jim and I have a history...
...and now, he's at it again, with a bunch of rich-ass "no bullshit, there I was" talk about - wait for it - his CELL PHONE.
Now, I've gotta point out that status-seeking through possessions is kind of lame to begin with. I have a friend who pays more than my mortgage in monthly payments on his hopped-up Turbo Porsche. It's embarrassing; he won't drive it anywhere because it might get stolen. But damn, he owns a TURBO PORSCHE. I'm trying to talk him into getting a Prius so he can actually leave the house. So I admit that bragging on owning stuff is a lame characteristic that (we) guys sometimes have.
But Jesus and Mary the weeping Mother of Christ...bragging about your CELL PHONE? That's like being the kid in fifth grade who brags about his lunchbox.
What next? Talking about how cool your Bluetooth headset is?
Yeah, so your phone ran some missions for you...in your dreams...let me lay some truth down for you Jim, my man...let's start with infrastructure:
Why on earth does the 4G coverage, of the so called "NOW" network, suck so much. Unless you are right in the middle of a capital city, you're stuck on 3G with the pitiful 5Gb per month cap.So you got no infrastructure...and you know, amateurs talk technology, pros talk infrastructure.
...
They were supposed to have WiMax in Boston late 2008 I believe, then they said, sometime in 2009. Well we are almost halfway through 2010, still no WiMax in Boston.
...
The funny thing is, despite the fact that less than 10% of this country is covered by WiMAX, Sprint continues to advertise nationally that it has a 4G network up and running. That's false advertising, plain and simple. Sprint hasn't built out any 4G network (and technically speaking, WiMAX is super-3G, not 4G), Clearwire is. And simply put, Sprint claiming to have a 4G network just screams to me that Sprint management lacks integrity in a major way.
...
I wonder what Verizon will do when they light up a majority of their LTE network at the end of this year...will they claim to have a 4G network as well? and will they cover at least as many people as Clearwire currently does.
And that phone...please. What self-respecting guy would have a phone like that? It's almost as bad as an iPhone, all sleek planes and gentle ergonomic curves.
A man - an old-school man like Walt Kowalski - doesn't want ergonomic curves. He wants a phone that looks like Craftsman made it. Carved from an unbreakable block, with sharp corners that will gouge your knuckles when you're emailing tough emails to vendors. No predictive 'virtual keyboard' on the screen...a man's fingers are too battered and calloused to tap daintily on little icons.
Sharp corners, sturdy, a keyboard...sounds like...my Motorola Droid!! And...I've got a network that works!! My network works so damn well that I can take my phone to Hiroshima, take pictures, and email them back to Los Alamos. Hellfire that, Jim!!
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Boom.
NEXT SLIDE.