JK: This was posted to the comments section of our Good News Saturdays 2005 post by USMC. As we often do with exceptional blog posts, we're promoting it to full Guest Blog status.
Always
To Deb, by JR/USMC
It seems to me that I have been remiss in several things in my life and am finally coming to realize that as there are some things that should and ought be done as well as those that should not.
When reviewing my life of 28 years wedded to a woman I dearly love I can certainly say my track record as a husband is not without faults.
Surely there are many things in my life that I can look back on with admiration, apprehension, disgust and complacency. It certainly seems that the sunny afternoon of May 13, 1977 in small chapel with friends and family warrants more attention than I have given in the past. That day has forever changed me for better for worse, in sickness in health, for richer for poorer as long as we both shall live till death do us part. I meant the words I said then and they still ring as clear and unfaltering as the day they were spoken.
February 12 1978, November 1 1982, September 11 1986 and June 3 1992 are certainly days that I look back on with awe, admiration, wonder and apprehension.
The former dates of our daughters birthdays and the later dates of those of our sons. From the first to the last I could argue I love our children as much if not more than you. Somehow though in the piercing light of objective reason I ask myself how could this be so? After all it is not I who carried the burden, made the sacrifices, and suffered the pain without question to achieve such awe inspiring moments. The fact that I was witness to it all, each and every one, and as awe inspiring for me as it was does not compare with the gift of you allowing me to be a part of it all. Truth be known it should be I that would be jealous of such a love and devotion that only a mother can experience. When they are happy we are joyous, when they are pained we hurt all the more. Yet in truth when confronting these matters I could never feel to same degree as you within the confines of the deepest corners of your soul. In the light of awe I am but a bystander allowed only to partake in the gifts of wonder that you so willing share.
Let there be no doubt that I can only imagine the depth of a love required concerning such gifts and the depth of the devotion to man who should be all the more considerate and grateful for things such as precious as these. In that sense there is no doubt on my part about the magnificence of the love you bestow on me.
Realizing all these things what then could possibly be remiss of a man who at the most partially understands that most precious within a woman's heart? Over the years it has occurred to me that I have never put my most intimate of thoughts toward you in writing. Such a simple task that words alone should suffice to convey to a wife most cherished. In light of all of this the realization that the spoken word is not and could never be enough in exchange for the gifts you have bestowed upon me. The written word through time has proven to be immortal. In such a small manner one can contribute to all of humanity and in such a large manner one can express a never ending love to the world for a wife of such wonder.
Yes May 13 1977 is truly a day that needs recognition beyond any other and truly a day that this man in particular should be ever so grateful. When I said I do it was with all my heart and soul yet how could I have possibly imagined that I would be all the better for it. It is with this thought in mind that I put pen to paper and convey to you and the world there is no other.
For my dearest Deb
Always JR