It's been 20 years since I did the research that turned into my first book, a Civil War history of one county in southeastern Pennsylvania. The book was distilled from hundreds of letters and diaries, enlistment records, muster rolls, doctor's reports and box after box of official government documents.
Always as this time of year rolls around, I remember them; the ones who left the paper trail I followed between the present and the past. These people were real to me; I would recognize their handwriting at once. Their quirks of spelling, the references to the novels they had read.
With time, their experiences have melded in my head into one big thing called "the war." But there are lines from them that still spike out, and I seem to carry them mentally not as old brown ink on thin blue paper, but as spoken voices of young men who died at war.
In other cases, it is the officialese of the government paperwork that stays with me. The departmental language of death. In still others it is the delicate words of parents or wives, agreeing with their menfolk's desire to attain glory, but at the same time urging them to be brave -- but not too brave.
The more the time passes, the more the words, the spoken words, shape themselves into poetic cantos.
1861
Hi is still whearing the old boots he took with him from home. They can not get a pair large enough for him.
I was over there this forenoon to see Phares Brown. He says he likes it first rate and he may as well like it as not like it for they don't ask a fellow down here whether they like it or not.
The boys will march all day and play foot ball at dark
It was a point of argument at one time which would be the most likely to seize the baggage, the mosquitos or the secessionists ...
It wod do you good to see the boys hear. Some is a-plan cards, and some a-swaren, and some a-tuslen, and some a-riteing to thear gals.
Thee must not worry about us for we are doeing finely, also there is no danger of us getting in an engagement this winter and the war will all be over before spring.
I did not mind cooking out of doors untill yesterday morning when I found every thing snowed up which I did not expect to see down here. ... I don't see much advantage in being south, for we could not have any more ... freasing whether in Penna.
... more bugles than men with ability to blow them. The result was far from pleasing ...
[A woman's voice] As memory dwells upon the scene I wonder that we realized so little of what war meant.
1862
An involuntary sentence burst from my heart, and all I could say was, "My God, this is awful."
[Shells] make an awful noise flying through the air. You can plainly see them. ... They all seem to be coming right at you.
A person in battle has no feeling at all. He does not think of danger nor fear death. When you are just marching in is the worst. It loocks hard, though, to see them carrying the men off wounded on streachers.
The bank was thickly strewn with dead and wounded. These latter were begging some for water, some for a doctor, and some holding up their hands and begging for God's sake that we should not kill them.
A dying cavalryman (one of ours) lay where he had been blown some distance from his horse which was dead, both having apparently been killed by the same shell. He asked me something in an unintelligable tone I could not understand.
We had to lay on the ground without eny blankets or tents. For my par[t] I got to rails and laid on them but my close was dripen wet. I did sleep a little but not much.
I should have passed him as a stranger, he's changed so much. Looking up, he did not know me till I spoke.
... a mean hole for a Maryland town ...
"Bucktails to the front"
I soon concluded to retire to a woodpile, which I did under a heavy fire & on reaching it tumbled over a dead man, but deeming it too dangerous an experiment to move again, I laid down, resolved to await daylight.
Broken guns, scattered clothing & accoutrements, trampled corn & grass, the marks of shot, dead horses, half-buried men .... The smell was truly awful.
... we would have to fight if we got into it, as we were too tired to run away.
The most affecting case was that of a New York soldier, who had his name and regiment pinned to his vest. Falling from his pocket was an ambrotype case which, on opening, disclosed the features of a woman and child, the latter not more than six or eight months old.
... very glad that Morgan Davis succeeded in getting the body of John home.
1863
... much of the business part of [Vicksburg] had been burned, and the rest went the same road before we left ...
If there ever was a city sufferd from the effects of war, Nashville has had a goodly portion. Please me to see it in ashes, for it is a real rebbel hole, nothing but traitors and spys in it. Yes, and street women, any ammount of them.
Our regt. is not in as good sanitary condition as I've known it to be, ther being some over ninty (90) odd cases of Clapp at present and we only number 188 men all told.
... mere masses of blood and rags ...
If I should fall it could not be in a better cause, and this reflection would do much toward calming the feelings in such a trial. I hope thee will look upon it so.
As the Johnnies got too thick for us we busted for the rear ...
It was nothing more than a perfect slaughter but I think the Rebs lost as many as we did.
I reckon you have bully times at home now. I would not mind being with you for a while running about at nights instead of standing still along the Rappahannock River, watching the movement of the Rebs.
I thought the war was going on at home and that the rebels were throwing shell at us and a piece of shell struck Laura on the head. Oh I was in an awfull way when I awoke. I was all in a perspiration.
They detailed squads of us to go load wood fore the new troops that lazed around there, the 9-month bounty men, poor helpless souls.
Thee has wrote a good letter for one so young and it was dated at chool, which I was glad to see. Thee has improved so much in thy writing that I hardly new it, and on looking over it I did not see a misspelled word, for which I give thee credit. Only continue to improve and thee will make a good schollar.
... much need exhists among the families of volunteers, owing to the irregularity of payments in the army.1 pocket bookThe death of that number of such Irish savages as made up the bulk of that mob would have been small loss to the world, anyhow; and the lesson would have had a salutory effect, not only on this generation, but one or two succeeding ones. I think most of our soldier boys here feel the same way.
1 Five (5) dollar current bill
1 package of note paper
1 do. envelopes
1 likeness of a lady
Sent by express to his mother, Mrs. Eliza Henderson of Coatesville, Chester County, Penna., together with clothing ... with the exception of clothing buried in.
I anticipated the news. I awoke on the morning of the 4th with a terrible weight in my heart -- a weight which I carried with me and could not shake off. When I saw the outside of the letter yesterday, I knew what it contained.
... one leg and one forearm had been amputated before admission, and one leg was amputated in the ward.
What do you think of the war now?
1864
I would liked to of got home once more to of seen you and the folks, but they would not allow me. Take good cair of yourself.
It was a hard struggle, for a number of us were out of ammunition by the time we got into the forts; and we had to fight with the bayonets and the butts of our guns, and we fought in this way about twenty minutes until the Second Brigade came up .... All the boys from around home are safe.
We prepared to skedaddle. A captain shouted "Who has a rat-tail file or nail to spike these pieces?" One of the boys grumbled, "This is a hell of a place to ask for a file." I had hold of one of the wheels, and, although scared like thunder, ... looked up into the captain's face and laughed.
Where we once counted thousands we can now count but hundreds and another ten days will finish us up all together. ... The seven days before Richmond are nothing to this. Gettysburg was as severe, but did not last so long.
... I almost doubt that I am alive myself.
"Petersburg Express" firing at intervals of 15 minutes all night. Sharp shooters very busy. ... The regiment still in the front pits. Some 8 or 10 killed and wounded.
I wish I was some rich man's dog laying beside his stove.
I almost forgot to tell you that I have lost a nother brother in this cruel war. He was wounded at Cold Harbor twice on the 2nd of June last and died from the affects on the 2nd of July at Georgetown Hospital. You have heard me speak of him, his name was Daniel.
Amputated leg looks as though some dog had chewed it off.
Rock & McCarter stood by me well. They carried me off amid a perfect hail of Rebel bulets. I can never forget them.
Although I feel very sorry you have moved, still I can't help but admire your spunk. But my advice to you my dear son is not to rush into any unnecessary danger. A soldier can be brave, but likewise it is well enough for him to be prudent. May God in his infinite mercy protect you from all danger both seen and unseen, which shall be my daily prayer. ... I am working on the government shoes. I can make 9 or ten pair a week and think after a while I can make more as I get used to the work.
I cannot tell you any thing about how our army is making out, for we know nothing about it.Head Quarters, Pennsylvania State Agency, Washington, D.C., July 24, 1864Dear Sir: Your letter of the 25th inst. making inquiries about the remains of your two sons is duly received. In reply I have to say it is almost impossible at this time to recover from the front those who have been killed in the recent battles. ...
Fr. Jordan, col. and Military Agent of Penn.
P.S. The foregoing circular letter answers most of your questions. You can not therefore disinter before fall. Untill lately the government did not charge anything for going down to the army, but now they charge $7.00 for each person from here to City Point, & as much to return, by water.
1865
The only thing to do, is to kill every son of a bitch.
[A hospital nurse]: I've talked with very many [soldiers] since I'm here & never have I heard one say they would enlist again, did they know what they do now. I do not blame them either. It's all very well to talk & be patriotic. I've done it myself, but I tell you such a place as this is where the beauty is taken off -- you can see the dread reality of the case.
... crowded into a few years the emotions of a lifetime.
In a much smaller way, I know what you mean. My great-grandfather fought the entire Civil War in a regiment from Ohio, enlisting as a private just in time to make Shiloh, ending as 1st Lt at the Battle of Mobile. After that, his regiment (of which there were just a handful remaining from the original group) were sent to Brownsville TX to threaten the French in Mexico.
There he was wounded by a stray bullet as he went into town on an errand. The [white] officers of white troops and black troops had gotten into a saloon brawl, which turned into a race riot on the streets, hence him being shot in the wrist. This was his second wounding, plus two hospitalizations, a capture and escape and who-knows-how-many battles.
When I got his records and read of all this (he had to justify putting in for additional pension for his second wound, his unit not being shown as in action at the time), he and his life just came alive. It moved me to read the accounts of the various battles and his hand-written letter to the War Dept, along with affidavits from his colonel and regimental surgeon, just created a vivid picture.
He went home to farm in Ohio, outlived his first wife, moved to Missoure, remarried, and died peacefully in bed. A hell of a life, my great-grandfather.
My great-great-grandfather also fought in the War of Northern Agression. He was a runner between Lee and Jackson as family legend tells it.
Thanks for taking the time to put that together. It was a good article. There's not much point in having a memorial day if you don't remember why it is there. These old wars are long gone and settled. It has been over 60 years since the last major conflict. Let's hope it will be a long time until the next one.
One killed at Raymond, MS, one died in camp of disease in KY , another seriously wounded in LA and died a couple of years after the war , one did his time in Ill. and wasn't in combat -we were Yankees but there was one Rebel in my ancestory but I don't know anything about him - three in the war of 1812 with one captured by the British, three in the Revolutionary war , a few militia men/Indian fighters, three in WW1, one badly gassed , five in WW2, one KIA, one disabled , me and two cousins in Viet Nam, one wounded , none in Korea, Iraq or Desert storm , one known horse thief who fought the law and lost one hippy who fought the cops and was never caught
In the spirit of remembering those who have fallen for America in war, last Veteran's Day I posted a Kipling Poem that most of you probably already know. It's not much of a Memorial Day if we do not stop and really think about what we are supposed to be remembering. War is a horrible thing. We should do all we can to avoid it. We should do all we can without shying away one iota from going to war if we have no choice. Once that decision is made by the old man (and Congress), we should make sure we remember not only the war, but those who have fought in it.