My neighbor and friend N. has a son, A., who is Littlest Guy's age. Both Littlest Guy and A. were asked to test for the "GATE" (Gifted And Talented Education) track - basically the 'honors' track. They test for this from third to fifth grade in our district, and both boys are in fifth grade.

N.'s dad and mom also live in the neighborhood (N. grew up down the street from where I live), and once a week they go out for a family meal.

He & I had coffee yesterday, and he told me what happened at this week's meal. Note: this will work much better if you read it out loud...

N. to A.: "Tell Grandpa your news."

A.: "I will have GATE testing next week."

Grandpa: "What!! What are you saying!!"

N.: "A's getting tested for GATE! Isn't that wonderful?"

Grandpa: "How can you say that! Are you crazy?"

N. (concerned): "Dad, it's a real honor, why are you upset?"

Grandpa: "They test for this in fifth grade, now? What are we coming to?"

N.: "Wait, dad, what in the world is the problem?"

Grandpa: "They are going to gay-test A.!!"

N.: "Yes, exactly! He will test for GATE."

Grandpa: "How can you accept that? Gay-testing a boy his age!"

N: "Yes, GATE testing."

Grandpa: "Oh, God what is the world coming to, gay-testing a boy like A."

N's wife, S.: "Grandpa, what do you think we're talking about?"

Grandpa: "Testing to see if A. is gay, of course! What an outrage! How can you sit still for this?"

N. covers his face, S. laughs...

Sometimes pronunciation is the key to successful communication...