"A college professor described a survey that he conducted over a period of years in his marriage classes. He asked guys who were living with a girl, point blank, "Are you going to marry the girl that you're living with?" The overwhelming response, he reports, was "NO!" When he asked the girls if they were going to marry the guy they were living with, their response was, "Oh, yes; we love each other and we are learning how to be together."
In my observation, this is usually true. (Hat Tip: Wonkette)
Relationships are to marriage what gum is to nutrition. –John Leonard
don't get this wrong ... there's an interesting hidden moral at the end (not of the story, but my view)
The Husband Store
Have you heard? A store that sells husbands has just opened in Los Angeles where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store has 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights.
There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.
So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs. The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?"
So up she goes.
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids. The woman remarks to herself, "That'd be good for the long run, but I wonder what's further up?" And up she goes again.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking. "Hmm, very good!" she says. "But there are 3 more floors! I'm going to see what's next"
The fourth floor sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework. "Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!" And again she heads up another flight.
The fifth floor sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak. "Oh, mercy me! But just think... what must be awaiting me further on?" So up to the sixth floor she goes.
The sixth floor sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor number 26,789,012. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at The Husband Store and have a nice day
-----
Humor, it is said, plays the thin line between uncomfortable truths and comfortless reality. Perhaps so. The jape expects (men, obviously) to laugh at the ironic yet vindicating top floor.
But the truth is more harsh: most men by most measures, fail to meet the criteria of "good partners": not wanting to keep a hard-work/good paying job (really), not wanting to deal with "The Kids", not interested in looking more good than what towels off after a shower every morning. Men really tend to fail at romance, tend to fail at equal share of home-detail. Oh, I'm not talking about you of course (LOL).
So why do men (and I know many of them) say, "No!" to the question, and women say "Yes, I hope so". I think it is the relatinoship issue: the one thing most men come to learn by their teens is that emotional relationships - heck, emotions at all - are unmanly. You're picked last for the baseball team? Buck up, Charlie! At least you're not the ballboy. Women are never discouraged from being emotional beings, never discouraged from showing their empathic and emotive side: and necessarily so - for those are the most important characteristics that are required for raising children through all their dastardly stages.
So, in the end it makes sense: most men don't want to admit that yes, they can be just as smitten by the woman that chose them - contrary to their and society's "program" for manliness, as women can be hopeful that the men they chose will ultimately make the one concession to a relationship that counts: saying "I do."
And yes, most women would rather have a man who says "I do" and means it in all ways, than a good looking, well heeled, kid loving, romantic lounge lizard that won't. I don't blame them.
GoatGuy
Micro:
Why buy the cow if you get the milk for free?
Macro:
Many modern women have given up their role of civilizing men by binding them into families. This does not bode well for our societies ills.
There's a line from arsenic and old lace that goes:
Mortimer Brewster(New Husband): What is this? Did everyone in Brooklyn know I was getting married but me?
Martha Brewster(Aunt):We knew you'd find out in time
I think even though guys technically 'propose', alot of are 'groomed' into that position alot earlier. I broke up with my now-wife when I was leaving for grad school across the country. She, of course, had a preety good feeling we'd get back together,(I figured it would never happen).
I wonder what percentage of these men ended up getting married? Then again, alot of these move-in couples that I know are quite dysfuncitonal, so maybe the guys are being more honest? Curious.
BTW:I don't think women are 'impossible to please'; they just want different things out of their daily life than men do. Things we think are pointless are stupid, they find necessary (and vice versa). Men and women are more alike than people realize.... just in completely different ways.
"There's a line from arsenic and old lace that goes:"
What a great movie(play?)!! Nice reference.
I was preparing to have my girlfriend move to the city in which I lived, and we would live together.
I didn't feel ready for this and asked a friend who had done the same (and had just gotten engaged to same).
He gave me this advice:
"Unless you contemplate marrying this girl, don't live together. If you are going to live with her, resolve youself to the notion that you are going to get married and pursue the relationship that way, as a unit, not as two individuals living together. If you aren't ready for these things, don't live together and reconsider the relationship."
It forced me to truly consider what I wanted out of the relationship and to make sure my partner and I were on the same page. It's helped tremendously to see the higher goal, when we have disputes.
Generally, I advise most people not to live together. (yes, I am a hypocrit)
Young women play at sex -- for which they aren't ready -- in an attempt to get the love they really want.
Young men play at love -- for which they aren't ready -- in an attempt to get what they really want, which is ...
That's why it's almost always the girl who gets hurt.
The big tragedy is to see so many 40 year olds who haven't figured that out.
Someone call Harvard. There are a bunch of genderists here insisting that the overwhelming evidence is that men and women in the mean have some intrinsic differences.
Havard will probably want to close itself out of this discussion as well.
It wouldn't do to offend thier delicate sensibilities, so we'd better warn them now.
Why buy the whole pig for a few meager inches of pork? :)