Recorded recently by Pakistani Intelligence:

You're not Adam Gadahn

Yes I am. Of course I am.

Well, how do we know that? Do you have any ID?

No, I burned my American citizenship papers. I reject American Imperialism.

Well, that's awfully convenient innit? So how are we supposed to know who you are? Can anyone vouch for you? We can't just let anyone into Gitmo on their say-so alone. How would that make us look?

But, I really am Adam Gadahn. Haven't you seen my movies?

That could've been anyone with a fake beard. It could've been my brother-in-law. In fact, you look a little like my brother-in-law. Certainly not anybody important.

But I am important! I'm a notorious traitor to the US, and confidant of the famous Osama Bin Laden himself!

Right, so what did you do to rise in the ranks of Al Qaeda? Let's see your resume. Where'd you go to school? What degrees do you have? Do you have any public speaking experience?

Well sure, I made those movies telling Americans their streets would run with blood.

So how'd that turn out? Besides which, that doesn't prove you're Adam Gadahn. The real Adam Gadahn must've been a pretty sharp dude, to scare Americans into re-electing George Bush. What'd you do before that, that would qualify you for such a position?

I went to HS in California.