This morning's production at Casa Armed Liberal lacked the duration and comic impact of the last classic - "A sandy slope, a cable lock, an Aerostich, and the well-hung stable boy" but it added a certain dramatic intensity and had far better special effects. It's titled "The long-sitting MZ, the can of starter fluid, and the fire extinguisher".
So the MZ motard - when it's being used every day - starts like a champ. But if it sits for four or five days, you need racing rollers. My solution, after burning down the battery once or twice, was to invest in a can of starting fluid - basically, ether. Plus I can fantasize about using it to sedate people who annoy me...
So after leaving the MZ sitting for three weeks, I rolled it out of the garage, popped the seat off (which opens the air box), grabbed the starter fluid, and sprayed a little on the foam air filter.
Usually, it'll start right up, die, and then start again and stay started. The hardest part is getting the three d**n Dzus fasteners back in to fasten the seat.
Today - well, today went a little worse.
I hit start and it fired immediately, and then backfired and died. A big cloud of white smoke filled the airbox, and then "whomp!" caught fire.
My initial - somewhat panicked - estimate had the flames three or four feet high, but on calm reconsideration, I'd say six or ten inches. I flapped my hand at them, and quickly realized that it'd take a little more to get this problem dealt with...
We usually have a fire extinguisher in the garage...look, look, crap!! ... we've got to do a garage cleanup...
Don't see it.
Run into the house and look above the dryer where we usually keep the one in the kitchen...look, look, crap!! "TG, where the f*** is the fire extinguisher??" She says that's a sure sign that the morning is going to be an interesting one.
I peek at the pile of boxes under the kitchen bar and grab the extinguisher from there (we've been working on the house...) and run outside.
Pull the pin, point the nozzle at the flames (burning quite happily, thank you), press the lever and "whoosh!!" my most burning problems were solved. I've always wanted to actually put out a fire with one of those things...
I owe Blackfive a book review (tonight), and was going to give him grief for his little faux pas when I wrote it.
But I think, out of respect for both of our fragile egos, I'll let it go today.
Ten years ago, Department 5 of my court, Judge Hugh Rose presiding over a trial.
The judge sniffed something smoking and then two jurors, during examination of a witness, jumped up and pointed at the back vents of the judge's compute facing the jury box.
Judge Rose slammed the gavel down and shouted: "The trial is recessed and the jury is excused! The Court's computer has caught fire! Evacuate the courtroom!"
The baliff pulled the power cord from the computer, ran for the fire extinguisher just outside chambers, grabbed it and put the fire out.
Beautiful. Was it Euterpe? Poor baby. Hope it's a better weekend ;-)
Wow!
inkgrrl -
No, I sold Euterpe, this was Thalia...damage didn't look too bad - I'll know this weekend.
A.L.
My neighbor has motards painted on his Avalanche, like a fighter pilot. I think he's just kidding, though.
Good luck!
DaveK
Good luck with your motard. It's a type of bike I realli like.
Once, I messed up the alignment of the rear wheel on my old Aprilia Tuareg Rally, and the brake disk was touching the pad all the time. Me and my mate were riding up a remote road when he, very alarmed, told me: "Your brake is ON FIRE!"
I stopped and checked: the plastic sheat of the disk was indeed burning, and the brake oil happily boiling away. The only fluids I was carrying were... in my bladder, but the flames died out with some vigorous patting and blowing.
Then I realigned the wheel, and everything worked perfectly since then. I didn't even bother to replace the brake oil.